There I was sitting on the toilet reading the newest Gossip Magazine left by the previous visitor, when suddenly I hear knocking! “Joe, joe, JOE!  Are you doing the food orders today?!” .  WHY YOU DOLT!.

Cant you wait a bit? just 5 minutes (or depending on how fast i read Jeniffer Aniston’s newest gossip) You know I am not gonna answer you! And you knocking the door harder or shouting will l not make me answer!.

My idea of stuffing toilet rolls around the door in a desperate attempt to soundproof the toilet din’t work for many reasons, people are asking where all the toilet rolls are going and also I COULD STILL HEAR YOU !!

See, its not that I am shy, nope, its cause I am on the toilet doing my business, its ME time. I do not want to talk to you about how my day has been or if my gran is doing fine! I spend a lot of time making sure that my loo time is perfect. First I take a  lot of 2 ply toilet paper and layer it onto the seat after sanitizing it with alcoholic sanitizer, then I sit down, making sure that my skin does not touch the cold filthy plastic of the toilet and then “loo talker” I read, girlie magazines, the one place I wont get looks or be judged on whether I am heterosexual or not! Then you come and spoil it all by talking to me. I thought you would get the picture after the first 122 times that I wont reply but there you are still talking to the bathroom door…

I have one rule, and that is No talking when I am in the toilet also no talking  from the toilet! Firstly I don’t know how you know its me when I pass the toilet, what gives me away? is it my humming , my shuffling footsteps? Whatever it is, its just creepy! So cut it off!

But you still fail to comply and you still asked me if i wanted the last piece of Tiramisu in the office fridge, sure it was very nice of you but I now associate tiramisu with toilet, something about the colour….

One more time you repeat it, and lets just say I have a way with office lunch orders..it is SOOOO ON!

Ever since blogs became the new cool thing, I have had a blog. My first blog was way back in 2004 and I stopped posting after 3 months, then came a barrage of blogs, around 6 to be exact, taking up useless space on the interwebs. But look! I already have a comment from Mr WordPress! YAY!!

And almost every blog has the “I am gonna keep posting new stuff” post. If I say it now I might as well be lying….

P.S : I am gonna keep posting stuff!